Atheist Humor & Jokes
One-liners
An atheist is a person with no invisible means of support.
Atheism is a religion in the same way that “not collecting stamps” is a hobby.
Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
Atheists do it without guilt.
Q & A
Q. What is so ironic about atheists?
A. They’re always talking about God.
Q. Why are atheist funerals so sad?
A. Because the person is all dressed up with no place to go.
Q. How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. They’re already enlightened.
Q. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?
A. Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
A. He stayed awake all night wondering if dog existed.
Q. Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist?
A. She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
Q. What does an atheist cry out during a moment of extreme passion?
A. “Oh, figment! Oh, figment!”